The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
