His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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