talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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