i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
