hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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