yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
