considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
