Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
