coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize