he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
