and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
