He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
