I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
