Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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