I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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