Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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