the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
