Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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