I smell stomach acid.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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