I wannas sexs uuuuu
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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