Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
