i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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