Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Randomize
