You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just found puke in my bra..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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