You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
