i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
im on a boat
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