Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the day after is always just damage control
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
