I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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