and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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