I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
