Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
