So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He felt like a one man threesome
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
