i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
