So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
