Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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