Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
