when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
