You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
