I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
