Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just high enough for therapy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
