I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
