My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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