is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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