you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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