i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
