You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
