I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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