I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
