batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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