Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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