i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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