I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
