do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
