I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
