his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
