Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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