Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
do nipples grow back?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
