i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
