I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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