Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
