Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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