i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
