Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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