i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
