Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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