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That's how twitter works, right?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize