Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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