Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
As shirtless as possible
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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